Learning to Cope With Doubts After Marriage – Part 2

Let’s talk about what you really know. You have lived with your spouse through the good times and bad, your relationship with them is forged out of real life, out of reality. You know each others good points and bad, strengths and weaknesses. The greatest prize to come from this is an acceptance of each other and love. As time progresses and your relationship transcends through its different phases, distance can creep in and cause you to seriously start believing that the grass is greener, or was greener, with someone else you knew.

You may even feel sure that person could have given you what you really needed. The truth however is that it’s impossible to know that for sure.

You are dealing with a fantasy, a projection of how you think life could have been with someone from your past and none of it is based in real life. When you reminisce about the past it’s very easy to see perfection and at the same time not one ounce of reality. It is normal to doubt your marriage from time to time and to even experience temptation. Feelings of insecurity can be a good thing as it allows you to re-evaluate your marriage and see what parts need work or attention. When you take a holiday from your marriage and stop working on its continued success, you are in some way making a choice to no longer be with your spouse and that isn’t fair.

In marriage is it your constant responsibility to take care of it so that the doors to reminisce or fantasize about the past rarely open. When you drop the ball and become lazy in your marriage you allow the opportunity for other people and doubtful thoughts to enter. Very often it’s not that the marriage is wrong for you but rather it’s that you’ve stopped addressing your challenges within the relationship. You may be feeling too tired to deal with it or failing to understand each others point of view. This discontent can create the illusion that it’s better to seek some other kind of fulfillment.



Source by Payo W Perry

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