If you as well as your spouse have done everything to make the marriage work but still you are unable to make things go smoothly as before, maybe staying together just for the sake of the children is not the best solution for the problem. Looking at everything closely and deeply, maybe divorce is the better option instead of just living together for the kid’s sake. Honestly, just the mere thought of living in an environment filled with everyday shouting and bickering more precisely serious fighting would not be good for the children. Specifically it is far more serious and harmful compared to dealing with the effects of divorce that they will go through when you decide to give it a go.
Being the parents, it is important that you know how to handle the effects of divorce in your children. The first and the most important advice are to explain everything to them from the start of the divorce proceedings. It is imperative that you use words that they can easily grasp. As you go along explaining to them how they will be affected by everything, it is important that you always assure them that it is not their fault and the decision for filing a divorce is a mutual decision between you and your spouse. In doing so, you will prevent the possibility of your children to hold grudges with the person in case you would blame for the separation. Even if the kids know the real scenario, it is your responsibility as a sensible parent not to blame the other party in the children’s eye.
No matter how close you are to your kids, it is not a good idea that you share your emotions about the divorce with your kids. If you do, they would be facing the bad effects of divorce that should have been avoided if you were responsible enough. It is important that you remind your kids to love both of you equally even if they already know the reason why you decided to move on to divorce.
You need to assure your kids that you will do everything in order to make their lives just the way it was as much as possible. Make it a point that they will not sacrifice their schooling just because their parents separated. It would be a good idea to inform the teacher about what is going on with your family especially if you are going through a divorce. This is for them to know the reason behind the sudden change of behavior of your child, in case there will be. Since your child is at school most of the days, the teacher would be the best person who can provide you with updated information on how your kid is dealing with the present situation in the family.
In the event that one of you would decide to enter a relationship even if the divorce proceeding is still ongoing or even after, it is important that you do not make your child cope with it suddenly. It would be better to introduce your new partner as a friend so as not to create a negative implication on your kid. Normally, the children would still expect reconciliation even if divorce has been settled by you and your spouse. There is the great possibility that they will look upon your new partner as a hindrance to their wish and prevent them from forming a good relationship with your newfound partner.
There will always be an instance wherein one parent would not be able to keep up with what is agreed upon when it comes to being responsible parents even after divorce. In case one was not able to make it to a school gathering or an event where both parents need to attend, you have to keep away from emphasizing the blame for the non-attendant. This will not have a good effect on your child when it comes to handling the divorce positively.
It is not the kids fault why the relationship has ended, thus it is important that you learn how to properly handle the situation to prevent the effects of divorce striking back negatively on your kids. You have to be careful about this aspect because they might carry this out onwards adulthood.
Source by Tono Ruggeri